Two Tears in a Bucket Read online

  “Kevin,” Beatrice sighed in defeat, “you’ve been getting off lucky. One day, your luck is going to run out, and when it does, don’t come calling me.”

  ● ● ●

  Simone gave Kevin the keys to her apartment and her heart. His toothbrush dangled from the toothbrush holder next to hers, and his clothes hung in her closet. Simone’s apartment had become their home, and their relationship was unbelievable. They talked into the wee hours of the morning, laughing and joking like best friends. Every time they unleashed their passion, their lovemaking felt like the first time. Their chemistry was perfect.

  Often during the week, Simone would reach inside her purse and find a wad of money or Kevin’s fully endorsed paycheck from the nursing home, which she simply deposited into her account. Though the money was great and paid the bulk of the bills, the thing that impressed Simone the most was the sentimental little notes Kevin left for her.

  ‘You are my light and hope for tomorrow. My heart has never known a greater love.’ Kevin left the notes everywhere—under her pillow, in her dresser drawer, or taped to the bathroom mirror. Few knew his depth went deeper than his handsome, thuggish exterior.

  Kevin’s drug game picked up as Spring gave way to Summer, making the weekends he spent cuddled up in bed with Simone—watching movies or making love—history. Two Fridays in a row, Simone rushed home from work hoping to spend time with him, only to find Kevin rushing off to the strip, where he spent the entire weekend.

  “I hope you not spending the weekend up there again. That shit is whack,” Simone said with an attitude. “Why can’t you come home like you do during the week?”

  “’Cause, Simone. I told you the crackheads be out on the weekends until the wee hours of the morning, and the cabs don’t come up there that late.”

  “So where you sleep, Kevin? On the strip?”

  “Naw,” Kevin said as he threw on his black hoodie. “A bunch of us crash up James’s girl’s house.”

  “Yeah, and I bet her girlfriends be up there with y’all, too.”

  Stepping into his steel-toe boots, Kevin watched Simone plop on the bed.

  “Naw, it’s just a bunch of James’s friends.”

  “Well, what the hell kinda boyfriend is James any-way? I mean, I can’t see you saying all your friends can come over here and spend the night every freakin’ weekend.”

  “Hell naw. They can’t come over here at all. But James is used to that shit. It’s always a bunch of niggas at her house. She let us do our business while she does her business.”

  “Y’all business?”

  “Yeah, Simone. Drug stuff. And you know I don’t like talkin’ to you about that.”

  “Damn. So all y’all hanging up there and cooking coke, and that don’t bother James?”

  “What you know about that?”

  “Kevin, James don’t care that all y’all be up there?” she asked again. She wasn’t as naïve as Kevin thought.

  “Naw, Simone, he don’t care. He’s used to, it.”

  “He’s used to having a million dudes in his house around his girl?”

  Kevin took a deep breath, preparing himself for the argument that was sure to come. Finally, he was in a real relationship. One filled with love, trust, and communication. He’d never lied to Simone, and he hadn’t planned to start.

  “Simone, his girl operates a little escort-like service.”

  Absent of a response, Simone sat numb on the bed.

  “Did you hear me, baby?” Kevin asked.

  “Oh, I heard you. I just figured you were lunchin’, so I was giving you a chance to tell the truth. But you’re serious. Kevin, don’t nobody operate no escort service in the hood. That tramp be tricking.”

  “Naw, tricking is when you exchange sex for drugs. She ain’t like that.”

  “Oh, so because she actually charges money, it makes it better?” she questioned sarcastically. “Have you bought anything from her?”

  “Hell no! Simone, c’mon now. It ain’t that type of party,” Kevin said, turning toward her. “Plus, she gotta weigh over three hundred pounds.”

  “Whatever, Kevin. Booty is booty, and I can’t believe you just told me this dumbness. So she’s never tried to book you or James’s friends?”

  “Simone, I mean, damn. She comes on to every-got damn-body, but I’m not thinking ’bout her. I got what I want right here. Plus, I told you that’s James’s girl. They just had a baby, too. At least we think it’s James’s,” he said more so to himself.

  “Okay, I don’t even wanna hear any more of this crazy talk, Kevin. Matter of fact, why don’t you just stay home this weekend? We good on money. Let’s call Melanie and Nic and hang out with them.”

  “Simone, I can’t. It’s the first of the month, and them crackheads splurging and paying off their tabs.”

  “They can pay their tabs off one day next week.”

  “Yeah, right,” Kevin said. He grabbed his cap from the nightstand and tossed it on his head. “They’ll be don’ smoked their whole check up by then.”

  “Come on, Kevin,” she pleaded. “We’ve never even gone out on a date. Stay home and let’s go out to dinner or something.”

  “Look,” Kevin pulled Simone up from the bed, “I’ll try to come back tonight. Then we can do something here.”

  “Something like what?” she asked, pulling away from him. “Watch a movie, fix something to eat, or fuck?”

  “I’ve never fucked you.”

  “You fucking me now,” Simone said as she headed into the bathroom. “I’m tired of staying inside and doing nothing. But that’s okay. Go collect your money and spend the weekend up the trick’s house.”

  “Come on, Simone. Don’t start trippin’.”

  “I’m not trippin’, Kevin. Go do your thing. But I’m going out.” She turned on the shower. “And I’m not going out by myself.”

  “So what you saying?”

  “You know what I’m saying,” Simone yelled over the running water.

  “Simone, don’t play like that. You gon’ fuck around and get somebody hurt.”

  Unfazed by his words, she ignored Kevin. His decision to head to the strip opposed to spending quality time with her hurt.

  “You heard what I said, right?” Kevin yelled as Simone slammed the bathroom door.

  ● ● ●

  Kevin strolled into the apartment a little after ten. The flickering light from the bedroom television illuminated the hallway.

  Damn, I know she ain’t sleep, he thought as he headed to the bedroom, only to discover Simone wasn’t home.

  He flipped on the light, and there scattered amidst the bed linens were her expensive jeans and the sexy, skimpy tops she wore when she went out.

  Who the hell she getting cute for?

  Kevin’s mind started playing tricks on him, rehashing Simone’s threats. Reaching behind his back, he retrieved the gun he kept snuggled in the waistband of his pants, and flopped onto the bed. Simone was right. They’d never gone on one solitary date, and he was hoping to change that tonight.

  Damn…did she go out with another nigga? Kevin thought. I know one muthafuckin’ thing, she better not walk in here with his ass. Kevin knew he wouldn’t kill the guy, but he would put a fear in him that the guy wouldn’t experience again until he met the Grim Reaper.

  Shit, I need to calm down. He headed to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and planted himself on top of the toilet seat. As steam began to fog the bathroom, Kevin’s mind replayed the countless other women who had all been unfaithful to him, just as he’d been to them. Yet, for the first time in his life, his appetite for love was satisfied. Simone wasn’t as sexually advanced as Rhonda or some of his other quickies, but Kevin loved that, knowing he could teach her sexual tricks.

  Simone’s not like them, he told himself as he disrobed. He climbed into the shower and allowed the hot water to massage away the building tension. sulking in the shower, Kevin felt better. The hot water had melted away his doubt.
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br />   Simone ain’t like none of them. That’s why I love her so much, he convinced himself as he headed into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He cleared off the bed to stretch out and waited for Simone.

  Hours ticked away. By two in the morning, there was still no sign of Simone. Kevin’s anger resurfaced as he tossed on his clothes. He opened the chamber of his gun and placed a bullet on the dresser next to a hand-scribbled note.

  ‘This is for that fake-ass nigga you went out with.’

  He placed the bullet in the center of the note and left.

  ● ● ●

  Melanie danced around in the hallway, fighting the urge to use the bathroom.

  “Simone, you better hurry up ’fore I piss right here on the floor!”

  “Why didn’t you go before we left?” Lavon asked as Simone placed her key in the lock.

  “The line was too long,” Melanie answered. “Man, that party was fresh. We gotta go out again before I leave.”

  “I can’t believe you’re really going away,” Lavon said.

  “Girl, you know my mother be lunchin’. She’s not feeling the community college thing. So, Labor Day weekend I’ll be gone.”

  Simone caught a whiff of her cigarette-smelling clothes as she opened the door. “Man, I can’t wait to hop in the shower.”

  “Me, too,” Lavon agreed. “Simone, wait till you tell Kevin that you won the butt contest!”

  “Yeah, y’all heifers were cold fakin’. Y’all set me up.”

  “Girl, please. You the only one with a butt,” Lavon said. “Mine is too damn wide, and Melanie’s, skinny, red ass ain’t got one.”

  “Well, it don’t matter any way. I probably won’t see Kevin ’til Monday. I’d be done forgot about the contest by then.”

  As she crossed the threshold, Simone walked into the faint scent of Kevin’s cologne lingering in the room.

  “Whew, girl. Watch out,” Melanie said, ready to rush off to the bathroom. “I gotta pee like crazy.”

  “Hold up.” Simone grabbed her by the arm. “I think Kevin’s back there. I can smell his cologne. Let me make sure he ain’t naked.”

  “Girl, please,” Melanie said, dancing around. “A ding-a-ling is a ding-a-ling.”

  Excited, Simone rushed to the bedroom, only to greet disappointment. The bedroom was empty. With a suck of her teeth, she turned on the light.

  What the hell, she thought as her eyes spotted the bullet and piece of paper on the dresser. She couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face as she read the scribble.

  He really thought I was going out with somebody, she thought as she shoveled the note and bullet into her drawer. Dang, I hope he didn’t run back to the strip. picked up the phone and paged him.

  ● ● ●

  The chirping sound from his pager woke him. Kevin looked around the room, almost forgetting that he’d crashed on his mother’s couch. Although there was still money to be made on the strip, he didn’t feel like heading back.

  Reaching for his pager, he saw Simone had paged him two hours ago. He turned off the television, secured his mother’s apartment, and headed upstairs.

  After tiptoeing into the bedroom, Kevin pulled back the covers and smiled at the sight of Simone in one of his T-shirts. The smell of her pear-scented lotion rose from the bed and waltzed in the air. Eagerly, he disrobed down to nothing and snuggled up next to the warmth seeping from her body.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear. Tenderly, he applied light kisses to her face until her eyes opened.

  “Aww, Kevin, baby. I’m sorry. I read your—”

  “Shh.” Kevin kissed her lips. “I thought about everything you said earlier and it was true, so I came home.”

  I wonder if she’s ready for this, he thought as he nibbled lightly on Simone’s neck.

  Bit by bit, Kevin planted a trail of kisses down her body until he reached the center of Simone’s silk panties.

  “Kevin… boy, what…what are you doing?”

  “Just relax,” he whispered. He positioned himself between her legs and teased the outskirts of his target with his tongue. Simone began to fidget. He glanced up at her like a wild animal sneaking up on his prey.

  “Simone,” he whispered. He kissed her inner thighs and slid off her underwear. “Just relax, baby.”

  With the experience of his tongue, he went after his target, melting through her initial resistance.

  “Oh my God, Kevin,” she cried as he entertained her for several minutes. Her legs began to tremble. “Shit, Kevin!” she screamed out in pleasure as she grabbed his head and rotated her hips.

  “Cum for me, baby,” Kevin requested as Simone’s entire body began to shake. “Don’t fight it, Simone. Cum for me.”

  Simone’s body jerked, releasing an orgasm that Kevin didn’t shy away from. He continued to work his magic while catering to each drop that trickled from her.

  “Ah, I love you.” She was panting as if she’d just run a marathon.

  Kevin smiled. His mission was accomplished. “I wanted to do that a while ago,” he said as he rested his body on top of Simone’s, “but I didn’t know if you were ready.”

  “So now what? I’m supposed to do you, right?”

  “Huh?” Kevin was stunned. “You’ve done that before?”

  “No, but I mean…” she said with a simple shrug of her shoulders.

  “Naw, baby,” he said as he steered his hardness inside of her. “Don’t ever think that. This is all I need right here.”

  Kevin throbbed deeper and deeper inside Simone as the warmth of his pre-ejaculation began to seep from him.

  “Mmm, Simone,” he whispered, his rhythm quickening. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too,” she panted, matching his pace.

  “Ah, here it come, baby. Here it comes,” he gasped, breathing heavily. “Ah, Simone. I love you, baby. I love you so much,” he cried.

  Before Kevin realized it, tears had crept from his eyes. Collapsing on top of Simone, he buried his face in her pillow.

  Simone rubbed the back of Kevin’s head. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I just gotta get myself together, baby. I love you so much.”

  Chapter Six

  Spending the weekends on the drug strip had become a thing of the past. After their argument two months before, Kevin made his way home to Simone each and every night without exception. Melanie and Nic became their weekend roommates. The foursome watched movie after movie, played games into the wee hours of the morning, and even broke out into a pillow fight, which Kevin brought to an end after Nic swung the pillow at Simone a little too hard for his comfort.

  “Here, baby,” Kevin said as he placed a ceramic plate filled with Simone’s favorites on the nightstand. “Me and Nic fixed breakfast for y’all.”

  “I don’t want it,” Simone answered, pulling the covers over her head.

  “Why not? That’s everything you like.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t feel good. I had to puke while you were in the kitchen.”

  “You threw up?”

  Before Simone could part her lips to respond, she felt the queasiness return. She flung back the covers, sprang from the bed, and rushed to the bathroom just in time to flip up the toilet seat. She kicked the door shut and leaned over the commode as her insides exploded into the bowl.

  What in the world is wrong with me? she thought, but she knew she didn’t need a ’s diagnosis. Simone hadn’t had a period in two months.

  After flushing the commode, Simone turned on the faucet and splashed cold water all over her face. The she brushed her teeth and the insides of her mouth with a vengeance, trying to rid the awful taste the vomit had left behind. With a deep-hearted sigh, she opened the bathroom door, ready to greet her audience.

  “Damn, baby,” Kevin said as he followed Simone to the bed. “You think—”

  “Don’t even say it. Don’t none of y’all say it,” she ordered.

  “So then you know
you pregnant?” Nic asked playfully.

  Simone sucked her teeth and crawled back into the bed.

  “I’m gonna be a godmother!” Melanie cooed.

  “Whatever,” Simone said, throwing the covers over her head. “Me and Kevin use protection.”

  Kevin planted himself on the edge of the bed next to her. “Simone, when was the last time we used protection?”

  “Okay.” Nic pushed Melanie toward the door. “We don’t need to know the details, so we gon’ give y’all some privacy,” he said as he closed the door.

  “Kevin, when we don’t use protection, you get up.”

  “C’mon Simone,” he said as he tugged on the covers. “When was the last time I got up?”

  Simone peeked from underneath the covers. “Kevin, I’ve seen you get up. Hell, you make sure I see you. You squirt it on me, remember?”

  Kevin smiled, aroused by the memory. “Yeah, but you’ve felt me not get up, too. Matter of fact, remember the first time I went down on you? That was like two months ago. I didn’t get up then, and we didn’t use nothing. I bet that’s when it happened.”

  “You bet that’s when what happened? You know what? Don’t even answer that. Let’s just change the subject, ’cause the last thing we need is a baby. You don’t even have a job! You gave it up to sell drugs, remember?”

  “Yeah, but it ain’t like I can’t get another one.” Kevin was getting excited. “This is probably the motivation that I need.”

  “Look, don’t get your hopes up, Kevin, because I’m not having no baby. If my period don’t come soon, we’ll just have to take care of it.”

  “Take care of it?” Kevin frowned at the mere thought. “I know you ain’t talking ‘bout having an abortion!”

  Simone sighed and pulled the covers back over her head.

  “You right,” her muffled voice said from under the comforter. “I’m not having an abortion, ’cause I’m not pregnant.”

  ● ● ●

  Another month drifted by, and Simone still hadn’t had a cycle. The frequent bouts with morning sickness caused her to miss work. Kevin stayed by her side each and every day, hoping that in a few months she would bestow on him the greatest blessing… the greatest joy of his life… a baby… a baby girl.